Here’s a great article from author Elizabeth Sims about internal dialogue. (In most cases I would call it inner monologue, but that’s neither here nor there; I’ve written about it before.)
I particularly got a kick out of Sims’s pointing out pitfalls—
- Making a character’s inner voice into a sarcastic wisecracker who won’t shut up. Such a voice can be entertaining, but only if used sparingly.
- Head hopping. Reserve internal dialogue for very few characters. Many writers successfully do internal dialogue for just one character— their protagonist.
- “… I thought to myself.” I’m on the alert for this construction, which screams rank amateur. Who but oneself does one think to?
- Telling huge hunks of backstory via having a character “think about” or “remember” it.
- Putting in anything that doesn’t serve the story. If it’s important that your protagonist dithers over whether to buy the store brand bleach, fine, but if it’s not relevant, just let him buy bleach and get on with it.
—because all are things I’ve written about elsewhere.
But there’s a lot more than that here. The list of things you can accomplish with interior monologue is particularly helpful too. Read on!
Tweet: What exactly is internal monologue—and what can it do?
Tweet: Here’s a list of things you can accomplish with interior monologue.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”