I’m still catching up, y’all, but my friends are helping me out with new and recycled posts of their own. Today? A great post from YA author N. K. Traver, which ran on her own blog earlier this year.

The Comparison Devil

I read an article some time ago wherein the author said she knew she wouldn’t be a best seller as soon as the offer came in on her first novel. Because it wasn’t a six-figure advance and she wasn’t going to auction.

This bothered me a lot.

First, let’s roll back to a not-so-happy place in my past, last spring. To be as brief and honest as possible, I’d let some things get out of control in my life and had lost all focus of the good things going on. I realized I was in a bad place. I sought the help of a counselor at work. And he tricked me.

In the best way, of course. During one session, he targeted my writing dream and made me list everything that was bothering me. Every fear. Every rejection. Every disappointment. Then he made me write down the good things that had happened. Actual words from people who had read and responded positively to my work. I tried to counter with, “Yeah, but if I was any good this wouldn’t be so hard.” He pointed to my fears, which were things like I’ll never get published. I’m not good enough. I don’t know if I’m even supposed to be doing this. Then back to the Good Things list. “Which of these has actually happened?” he asked.

(See? Tricky.)

Which brings me back to the article about trying to read into your publishing future based on what’s happening to other people. We always want to compare our experiences to try and figure out what’s normal. Is it supposed to take this long? What if I don’t get multiple offers from agents? What does it mean if I didn’t get a three-book deal? And I’m telling you (and also telling me): 
STOP.

There is no magic formula. There is only one example I need to give here to prove it: J. K. Rowling received a £1500 advance (or about $2400) for Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. Couple that with her own editor’s advice that she get a day job because she “had little chance of making money in children’s books,”* I think you’ll start to get my point. And for heaven’s sake, if you’re sitting there worrying your five/six-figure advance means they’re overconfident and you’re doomed not to sell because how could anyone really know what the bestsellers will be, I’m shaking your shoulders right now. SHAKING THEM.

I don’t know the future. But if you’re in that place right now where the comparison devil is whispering in your ear, using your “failures” and “shortcomings” to bury all sense of hope, trick yourself like my counselor tricked me. There are two sides to every story, and you are not allowed to block the good side out.

“I’m getting a lot of rejections … but I know so much more than last year.”

“A top-choice agent just told me my book made her cringe** … but another just requested the full.”

Capisce?
If you’re going to do any comparing, that should be it.

* These quotes/numbers pulled from Wikipedia.
** Yes, this was an actual rejection I received.

N. K. Traver—Nat—pursued an information technology degree in college because she wasn’t sure she could get a job with an English degree. Then she started writing books. And in short order she got an agent and a contract and her first book, Duplicity, releases on 3 March 2015 with St. Martin’s Press. You can find her at her website and on Twitter.

Tweet: The Comparison Devil—don’t listen to it!
Tweet: We always want to compare our experiences to figure out what’s normal.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”