I’ve always enjoyed a good memoir (and if you’re not sure what one looks like, check out Mary Karr’s The Liars’ Club). I’ve reviewed more than one here (Michael Hainey, Eddie Huang, Michael Paterniti), and I’ve written about what makes a good one.
If you’re also a fan of memoir, you may be familiar with Alexandra Fuller, who’s recently published her third critically acclaimed memoir, Leaving Before the Rains Come. It’s been called a divorce memoir, but it’s much more than that. It is lovely and loving—and raw and harrowing.
The divorce got difficult and antagonistic in all the usual ways. Charlie and I both felt betrayed and wronged and misunderstood. Nevertheless, long after the divorce was final, and I had sat with that decree on my lap for a full afternoon feeling immovably weighted with grief, I experienced his removal like the earth itself had been taken from under my feet. You can be the perpetrator of your own emptiness, it can be the very thing you need, and it can still undo you. … It is not anyone’s job to make another person happy, but the truth is, people can either be very happy or very unhappy together. Happiness or unhappiness isn’t a measure of their love. You can have an intense connection to someone without being a good lifelong mate for him. Love is complicated and difficult that way.*
It’s also some incredible writing. That line “sat with that decree on my lap for a full afternoon” is a nice example of showing (as opposed to telling) emotion. And there’s more where that came from. Highly recommended.
* Transcribed by me from Leaving Before the Rains Come (Penguin Press 2015).
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